A Vitruvian-unheard: undiscovered

Is it Sober or chaotic, gloomy or bright, ruthless or compassionate; I don’t know, perhaps, to define myself is the most daunting task for me. I remember as a young kid, my teachers used to term me as an average kid, as it denoted on my mark sheet. But a fact they didn’t noticed was that I was honest and loyal, had they have done that I might have preceded from just being an average guy. Yes, an average guy, who doesn’t party every night and loves to stay back home and read instead, who is a non-smoker & a complete teetotaler, which often leads to criticism by his companions and friends. Yes, an average guy very common in this world. But that’s not enough, so how could I define myself……………???

Zodiacally my birth date suggests me to be a diehard Libran, as I am born in cusp, which makes me a charismatic, kind, gentle, lover of beauty, extremely romantic and a person who believes in harmony and peace. I doubt that is it all really true & enough to sum me up. Or is there more………….

There are days I would strum my guitar chords the whole day and find harmony, to the days playing cricket or football and sweat it out to seek peace. I would love to hang up with friends the whole day, and equally love to lie back in the bed with my coffee and a book the whole night. I love to groove on the music of David Guetta & Calvin Harris, to serenading Mohd. Rafi & Bruno Mars. Sometimes, I also like to sketch randomly, lost in my indiscreet thoughts. I can be a very boring person or full of energy on other days. Occasionally, can be rude out of aggravation and then regret it afterwards.

So, hitherto its conclusive I am ‘Jack of all master of none’. I don’t know is it only me, or others also experience the same about themselves. I am blessed by a lovely family and good friends, and not considered turbulent by any of them, not at least to my best of knowledge. Also I am close to my family and enjoy a great rapport with friends; but still there is a ventricle of my heart which is uninhabited.  An isolated place which has, spark of dreams, set of insecurities, swaying of angels and demons, a great strive for knowledge & wisdom, and instead of this fake & unkempt world, believes in the existence of true love and being good. This place of mine haunts me to the verge of pessimism & also inspires me to be good and strong. This part of me is an integral aspect of my personality, which is not easily palpable to everyone, what I think and affirm on various domains affecting our lives.

But what if, echoes of thoughts prevail in this part, thoughts on everything that is felt subconsciously & isn’t talked about. What if, this secluded place seeks to ferry, frisking away from being unheard and undiscovered.

May be, all those unheard & undiscovered echoes can take up words some day and may fall into comprehensions to follow. Those echoes buried deep in me, which can define me as a Vitruvian man.