A Vitruvian-unheard: undiscovered

Is it Sober or chaotic, gloomy or bright, ruthless or compassionate; I don’t know, perhaps, to define myself is the most daunting task for me. I remember as a young kid, my teachers used to term me as an average kid, as it denoted on my mark sheet. But a fact they didn’t noticed was that I was honest and loyal, had they have done that I might have preceded from just being an average guy. Yes, an average guy, who doesn’t party every night and loves to stay back home and read instead, who is a non-smoker & a complete teetotaler, which often leads to criticism by his companions and friends. Yes, an average guy very common in this world. But that’s not enough, so how could I define myself……………???

Zodiacally my birth date suggests me to be a diehard Virgo, but born in cusp, which makes me a charismatic, kind, gentle, lover of beauty, extremely romantic and a person who believes in harmony and peace. I doubt that is it all really true & enough to sum me up. Or is there more………….

There are days I would strum my guitar chords the whole day and find harmony, to the days playing cricket or football and sweat it out to seek peace. I would love to hang up with friends the whole day, and equally love to lie back in the bed with my coffee and a book the whole night. I love to groove on the music of Kygo & Calvin Harris, to serenading Mohd. Rafi & Bruno Mars. Sometimes, I also like to sketch randomly, lost in my indiscreet thoughts. I can be a very boring person or full of energy on other days. Occasionally, can be rude out of aggravation and then regret it afterwards.

So, hitherto its conclusive I am ‘Jack of all master of none’. I don’t know is it only me, or others also experience the same about themselves. I am blessed by a lovely family and good friends, and not considered turbulent by any of them, not at least to my best of knowledge. Also I am close to my family and enjoy a great rapport with friends; but still there is a ventricle of my heart which is uninhabited.  An isolated place which has, spark of dreams, set of insecurities, swaying of angels and demons, a great strive for knowledge & wisdom, and instead of this fake & unkempt world, believes in the existence of true love and being good (Yes may be she’ll read this someday, perhaps). This place of mine haunts me to the verge of pessimism & also inspires me to be good and strong. This part of me is an integral aspect of my personality, which is not easily palpable to everyone, what I think and affirm on various domains affecting our lives.

But what if, echoes of thoughts prevail in this part, thoughts on everything that is felt subconsciously & isn’t talked about. What if, this secluded place seeks to ferry, frisking away from being unheard and undiscovered.

May be, all those unheard & undiscovered echoes can take up words some day and may fall into comprehensions to follow. Those echoes buried deep in me, which can define me as a Vitruvian man.