SILENCE SEEKER

GREW (2)

Sometimes I try to dart away from the ductility of time and restraining juxtapose.

How do I try?

I usually take long drives, alone through roads, mostly reticent, begetting the unifying peace and bliss. A drive that is imperative and subtle but immensely cathartic.

I had one yesterday, down a quite path with my favorite music to nurture me. For those who have this comfort, it’s like a silent exclamation in an unusual Narnia. Whenever I do it, I am moreover enveloped in silence, so profound that I’ll take the liberty of calling it sublime. It is one of those things where I can be me, where I can vacate all my inhibitions, all of my perplexity, all of my filth; ponder on almost everything and nothing.

And then I slowed down to gaze abstractly at the stars, wonder at the fortitude of the leaves on a tree, listen to the ambitions of the mighty wind, just to hold up onto something. There shall be no sound but my breath and the flirting breeze.  So that I can be there for ages, only the chirping birds are allowed to shatter this silence, everything else shall be profane. It’s a strange sort of high, not viable to everyone. It is here where I can dissipate my unwanted energy, the awful downers, and the ones I don’t really want to think. Normally it takes longer to get myself into a positive mood, as sometimes I feel like I have a bizarre, mild form of manic depression. Sometimes I’m optimistic and driven, and at other times the apathy is overwhelming. And I am aware; as I always am that I cannot always step into a physical Narnia to escape negativism. But it helps, during times like this when I find myself slowly, but surely, gravitating towards an optimistic mood. It helps me to realize

“You’ll never find a rainbow if you’re looking down”- Charlie Chaplin

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38 thoughts on “SILENCE SEEKER

  1. Love, love, love it Saaransh. I was just thinking of you yesterday. How pleasing to find this superbly written piece in my Reader just now. You are an amazing writer and so vulnerably real. Thanks for that, my friend.
    Hope you are very well now, after a time of ‘pulling yourself together’.
    Bless you.
    🙂 ❤

  2. I was swaying as I was reading. Wished it to be longer. I love your choice of words. They feel too. Also the bizarre and mild form of maniac depression seems parallel to mine. Pulling out from it, is a task and you seem to direct it well. ❤

    • Thank u Shambs u put in such nice words that i can gladly hit my bed now 😀
      I dunno that I shud b happy that u cud draw parallel to this bizarre peculiar feeling of mine or sad that u also undergo through it :/ …… but its feeble and can diminish at the sight of food :D….pardon my all stupid jokes 😛

  3. Wow bhai wonderful post… Vocabulary jordaar bhai.. And ha, sometimes we just love to drive, watch stars, listen to the sounds of waves at the sea shore. Sometimes the negative thoughts overtake us and we feel like drowning. But slowly as we feel lighter, we float back and we come to know about a purpose and again we feel optimistic… That Charlie Chaplin quote is inspiring bhai, like a rainbow.. Have a great time.. 🙂

  4. Been there, done that! But there are also times when the silence around you is not enough to calm the screaming inside of you. That kind of silence takes a toll on you really badly….

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