BANALITY

Banality

 

I looked through the pores of city lights

Found none but mystery

Some voices said, some eyes unheard

and faces gloom to treachery

I vexed few lines of charcoal

Pushed them harsh

achieve no grace

Few travel bugs and enthusiasts

Came with songs of reckless praise

to oblique me and bring me sultry

Some voices said, some eyes unheard

and faces gloom to treachery

Clout of light is concubine of dark

Where dark is a patient riddle

riddles are born on gutters of street

beneath stripped flesh of reality

I longed for a friend in empty crowds

Truthful and viscous essentially

Could only find frames without a shadow

Endangered heart with mucous of banality

Some voices said some eyes unheard

And ‘their’ faces gloom to treachery

 

 

 

ABIDING

Abiding!

 

That silence in her

Pushed a clot of blood in me

Knocking the inner voices

Palpable only to the contrite self.

Rubbing the dryness in her eyes

A solemn me argued

I shall be the shore to your flow

Damp and precise

Till the limit of being timeless

And beyond

….. A Famous Fantasy

C1

 

When wicked emotions

brushes the pulp of my heart

Taking the taste of

that sickening saline flavour

poison

and the name chants despondency

Fickling the vicious saint in me

sodomizing the end, to be anxious of

the momentarily struggle, that seems

forever

Licking the thickened walls of my eardrums

Sweltering the sheet of my nerves

Beholding to heel myself penultimate

perhaps on a famous fantasy called

LOVE

Young And Beautiful

Y&B

I’ve seen the world
Done it all
Had my cake now
Diamonds, brilliant
And Bel Air now
Hot summer nights, mid July
When you and I were forever wild
The crazy days, city lights
The way you’d play with me like a child

Will you still love me
When I’m no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me
When I got nothing but my aching soul?
I know you will, I know you will
I know that you will
Will you still love me when I’m no longer beautiful?

P.S.  Excerpts from a Lana Del Rey’s song

BEING…

BEING

 

Why is she so good?

Why can’t she be rude, manipulative, and hunter as the world has been to me? Why she carries my burden as her own? Why her eyes express love to me till the death of the moon? Why she pauses for my insanity? Why her eyes role back on my imprudent jokes and yet she laughs on them to make me smile. Why does her face swell up in gratitude whenever I present her even a petite rose? Why does she hold my hand all the time as if preserving me from wandering? Her actions exclaim a kind hold for all of my inhibitions, my failures, my reveries, and my futile wisdom. Why she still has that ring made of a candy wrapper, which ingenuously I did years ago. Why she caresses my hair whenever I lay my head on her lap talking naively about my endless desires.

Is she an angel everyone desire meekly or a saint or a blessing, I don’t deserve? That touch of her fingertips, her soothing skin, and her brown celestial eyes, her benevolent vocabulary, her magical odor all mazes me to this sulky world. The way she hugs my fallacies with her gracious emotions, leaves me with a tear in my right eye.

Oh the mighty God, give me strength, such that I can scuffle my vacillation, bring out the potent me and can give her what she deserves. The honor, the pride, the imminence of a BEING…

Out of Sync

Out of Sync

What hails me to continue?

Out of sync

To make hays of dreams in the latent path

Hurled feelings just to come out of some jinx

Traversing to unknown and then back to warren

This polite wind from the mountains temp

And frisking of my heart as that of a lynx

A pact of my soul with unheard vent

The dancing leaves on tunes of the breeze

Trooping on my conceivable session

Making merry to debauch the possession

Brokeback Mountains with their crown of pride

Those chattering rivers and their human link

Mystic scent of the uncanny hope

Warming my soul, my blood and my whole being

This roaming heart blessed with pure feelings

Thrusting to be felt by another pure one

Shielding it from the world until it happens

And happens with the point of no return

All of this comes to me in thresh of a wink

And it all hails me to continue,

Out of sync.

HeartBEATS11

Dil mein koi sui si chubhi aaj, meri aankh bhar aayi hain,

Karwat lekar dekha maine, meri dost sirf tanhai hain……….

Arzoo hoti nahi muqammal, meri iss jahan mein,

Der se hi sahi ye baat, mujhe aaj samjh mein aayi hain

Karwat lekar dekha maine, meri dost sirf tanhai hain……….

Milte gaye qaffile, har mod, dost bante gaye.

Fir kyu Aftaab hokar bhi, humne andhero mein jagah paayi hain.

Maana hummein reh-shumari ki khubiyaan nahi,

Humne to rooh-e-pak main saari umar gavai hain,

Karwat lekar dekha maine, meri dost sirf tanhai hain……….

Sooraj k saamne hum, kuch feeke pad gaye lekin,

Alfazo se apne humne bhi, kai baar aag lagai hain,

Dua-e-walida karti thi roshan taqdeer meri,

Apne hi haathon humne, wo jane kahan gumai hain.

Karwat lekar dekha maine, meri dost sirf tanhai hain

SILENCE SEEKER

GREW (2)

Sometimes I try to dart away from the ductility of time and restraining juxtapose.

How do I try?

I usually take long drives, alone through roads, mostly reticent, begetting the unifying peace and bliss. A drive that is imperative and subtle but immensely cathartic.

I had one yesterday, down a quite path with my favorite music to nurture me. For those who have this comfort, it’s like a silent exclamation in an unusual Narnia. Whenever I do it, I am moreover enveloped in silence, so profound that I’ll take the liberty of calling it sublime. It is one of those things where I can be me, where I can vacate all my inhibitions, all of my perplexity, all of my filth; ponder on almost everything and nothing.

And then I slowed down to gaze abstractly at the stars, wonder at the fortitude of the leaves on a tree, listen to the ambitions of the mighty wind, just to hold up onto something. There shall be no sound but my breath and the flirting breeze.  So that I can be there for ages, only the chirping birds are allowed to shatter this silence, everything else shall be profane. It’s a strange sort of high, not viable to everyone. It is here where I can dissipate my unwanted energy, the awful downers, and the ones I don’t really want to think. Normally it takes longer to get myself into a positive mood, as sometimes I feel like I have a bizarre, mild form of manic depression. Sometimes I’m optimistic and driven, and at other times the apathy is overwhelming. And I am aware; as I always am that I cannot always step into a physical Narnia to escape negativism. But it helps, during times like this when I find myself slowly, but surely, gravitating towards an optimistic mood. It helps me to realize

“You’ll never find a rainbow if you’re looking down”- Charlie Chaplin